You just broke up with someone. You’re still pretty raw. Do you give yourself time to heal? Or do you get back in the saddle right away? You’ve heard the saying, “The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.” Well, that’s not entirely true. Sex with someone new may be a pleasant diversion, but once you’ve had your fill, the healing work awaits. You can’t escape the pain of a painful breakup.
The journey from lost love to a place of peace of heart and mind can be long and incredibly arduous. You may believe you can introspect and figure out all you need for yourself by yourself, but that is not the case. A therapist can walk you through the process of grieving and healing and fostering a new perspective. If you think therapy is a bunch of bullshit, you are in for continued pain and heartbreak and disappointment. And you also run the risk of bringing innocent people into your suffering and creating unnecessary pain in other people’s lives.
Flip side, I’m not advocating not dating at all while you’re processing through the end of a relationship. Dating during this time can be very healing, but only if the focus is not on partnering up permanently, but on developing friendships. Sex may or may not be a part of that depending upon your personal beliefs and comfort level.
It’s plain silly for people to give themselves years and years and years to get over someone before they get out there and have some fun. Healing is iterative, not linear. Closing down does no one any favors. You miss out on connecting with people and they miss out on the joy of having you in their lives. STAY OPEN!
An excerpt from my book How To Do Single With Dignity & Grace, available on Amazon.
Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Unsplash