Oh my. Minefield here.
The same caveats apply to meeting the kids as to meeting the parents. Except for with the young kids, cookies will definitely go over better than potato salad.
Get to know their personalities. Over time, you’ll learn what they like and don’t like, and how they respond to your personality. Make any adjustments to your behavior you feel comfortable making.
If you’ve been dating a while and you never get on with your partner’s young children, carefully consider if you want to proceed with the relationship. It might be best to step away. The relationship between parent and child is sacred. If a child is not parented appropriately, it can set the stage for a very unhappy life. I wouldn’t want any part of that. So just think. This isn’t only about what’s best for you, but also for your partner and his children. There are many people involved in the equation you must take into consideration.
If your partner’s children are grown, and they don’t like you, tough. That is, if your partner feels the same way. If your partner breaks it off with you because his 35-year-old son can’t accept he’s moving on with his life after his wife has been dead fifteen years, good riddance to bad luggage.
From what I’ve witnessed, your partner’s grown children may not welcome you with open arms initially, but they will likely learn to accept you over time. Most adults attempt to extend kindness to others, and if they see their parent happy, they’re likely to warm up to you pretty quickly.
If you’re very blessed, your partner’s grown children are going to give you the benefit of the doubt from the get and do everything they can to make you feel comfortable and included.
