February 8, 2021 Email Exchange with a Friend
Friend:
I know you weren't expecting a response from anyone. Here are my two cents worth since I haven't known you long.
First off, that question about why you haven't settled down and had a family is a bullshit question. You don't need to answer it. Sure, one answer is you haven't found the right person. Another answer is maybe you don't want to settle down. Yes, it’s nice to come home to someone, don't get me wrong, but it's not for everyone. Just because it's a societal norm doesn't mean you have buy into it.
Now as far as your bipolar goes, again I haven't known you that long to make a judgement on that. However, from what I do know, you seem like a nice person and a remarkably interesting person to be with. I am sure that changes from day to day, but that is true for everyone. No one person is perfect. Everyone is flawed. So, for you to compare yourself to others is alright, but you also just need to look at yourself from a distance. You have a friend in me, and you always will. I do read your journal entries. I hope this finds you having a good day and I will probably message you later to say hi.
Me:
We’ve known each other a year and a half! I keep track, remember? It’s all in my little black book, aka my iPhone. We haven’t talked a lot, but you’ve been a supportive friend.
I always wanted to get married and have children. It’s heartbreaking I didn’t have the life I’d planned. Now, in the lookback, I see it was all for the best. As my illness progressed, there is no telling what kind of damage I would have done to my partner, let alone my children. Everything happens for a reason. Things fell into place exactly as they should.
I know I have much to offer. I also know I am up and down and all over and that’s difficult to deal with. Given the unpredictability of my illness, I must hold fast to something significant and meaningful. I am committed to leave a legacy of good, from which others may gain understanding, strength, and a modicum of peace. Those are good goals. I Persevere.
Photo by Aleksandr Ledogorov on Unsplash